Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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