Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
