U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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