Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
