I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
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