I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
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