How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize
