Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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