Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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