I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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