Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
