I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize