She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
