i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
