At least make sure they are 18
Why
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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