so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
