I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
