Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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