the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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