I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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