Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
