I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
