Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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