My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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