Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
