He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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