It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize