I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
