Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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