what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
