If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
