Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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