Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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