Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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