Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
