this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
40s are totally the cure
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
