I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
