i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
you never un-have a 4some
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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