You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
