Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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