So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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