(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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