Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
