when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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