Swine flu. Run for my life!
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize