sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Randomize
