I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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