I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
