But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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