she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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