i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
