I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
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They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
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Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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