Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
What drink are we having for lunch?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
