I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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