Christians are straight up FREAKS
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
