Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
