I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Randomize
