why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
