As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
