I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
