Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
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