these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
