ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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