i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
