Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
